{"id":299,"date":"2009-12-11T14:44:12","date_gmt":"2009-12-11T19:44:12","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/daverowe.wpengine.com\/?p=299"},"modified":"2009-12-11T16:17:52","modified_gmt":"2009-12-11T21:17:52","slug":"the-man-rules","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/daverowe.net\/?p=299","title":{"rendered":"The Man Rules"},"content":{"rendered":"

At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down. We always hear “the rules<\/span>” from the female side. \u00a0\u00a0
\n<\/span>\u00a0
\nNow here are the rules from the male side.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0
\n<\/span>
\nThese are our rules!
\nPlease note. These are all numbered “1 ” ON PURPOSE!
\n<\/span>\u00a0
\n<\/span>\u00a0
\n1. \u00a0\u00a0Men are NOT mind readers.
\nFIRST & FOREMOST RULE
\n\u00a0
\n1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
\nYou’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down.
\nWe need it up, you need it down.
\nYou don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down.<\/p>\n

1. Sunday sports, It’s like the full moon
\nor the changing of the tides.
\nLet it be.<\/p>\n

1. Crying is blackmail.<\/p>\n

1. Ask for what you want.
\nLet us be clear on this one:
\nSubtle hints do not work!
\nStrong hints do not work!
\nObvious hints do not work!
\nJust say it!<\/p>\n

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.<\/p>\n

1. Come to us with a problem only <\/span>if you want help solving it. That’s what we do.
\nSympathy is what your girlfriends are for.<\/p>\n

1. Anything we said 6 months ago=is inadmissible in an argument..
\nIn fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.<\/p>\n

1. If you think you’re fat, you probably are.
\nDon’t ask us.<\/p>\n

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the \u00a0<\/span>other one
\n<\/span>
\n1. You can either ask us to do something
\nOr tell us how you want it done.
\nNot both.
\nIf you already know best how to do it , just do it yourself.<\/p>\n

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials…<\/p>\n

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT <\/span>need directions and neither do we.<\/p>\n

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
\nPeach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no <\/span>idea what mauve is.<\/p>\n

1. If it itches, it will <\/span>be scratched.
\nWe do that.<\/p>\n

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say “nothing,” We will act like nothing’s wrong..
\nWe know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.<\/p>\n

1.. If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, Expect an answer you don’t want to hear.<\/p>\n

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine…. Really <\/span>.
\n<\/span>
\n1. Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as Football
\nor Cricket.<\/p>\n

1.. You have enough clothes.<\/p>\n

1. You have too many shoes.<\/p>\n

1. I am in shape. \u00a0Round <\/span><\/span>IS a shape!<\/p>\n

1. Thank you for reading this.
\nYes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;<\/p>\n

But did you know men really don’t mind that? It’s like camping.<\/p>\n

Pass this to as many men as you can –
\nto give them a laugh.<\/p>\n

Pass this to as many women as you can –
\nto give them a bigger laugh<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down. We always hear “the rules” from the female side. \u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0 Now here are the rules from the male side.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-299","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-general"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/daverowe.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/299","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/daverowe.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/daverowe.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/daverowe.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/daverowe.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=299"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/daverowe.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/299\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/daverowe.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=299"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/daverowe.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=299"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/daverowe.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=299"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}